Sometimes I wake up and forget where I am.

eh..
Dear internets.

Today I decided I hate things. Lots of things. especially getting 24 of the exact same goddamned text messages from one of my very best friends. It kind of made me want to put my cellphone into a blender.
I love my friends to death. But it seems that they never know when the hell to shut up sometimes. ..or acquire a sense of what is truly funny. I seriously had to wrestle with my LG EnV to turn my ringer off, as it proceeded to beep 72 fucking times. Jesus..

I also decided that if anybody ever raises his or her voice to me while I'm trapped in a vehicle or small space.. I'm going to put my pinkies in their tear ducts and twist. Regardless of if said vehicle is moving, and I'm not driving, or even if voice-raised-person has a magical key to get us both out of said small space.

My mind is just roiling with a sense of bad. Bad bad bad.. I have so much crap that needs to get done. I finally managed to inform myself of how terribly useless I have been the past couple of months. Letting things at my home go untouched and uncleaned for so long. The mess is record breaking and monumental. Which is why I'll be leaving Dragon's tonight to drag my ass home to get started on the miserable feat of separating myself from him.. and doing what I'm suppose to. Not what I want.

..ITS NOT ALWAYS ABOUT ME GADDAMIT!.. contrary to pop-lar bee-leaf


yea, thats right, sometimes its YOURE FAULT TOO..




I'm not looking forward to spending tonight until friday afternoon by myself. As Dragon is my Master, I have a very difficult time coming away from him. I tend to get horribly depressed and very tired, reclusive. I understand its bad, but pretty typical in the kind of relationship we have. I've never been in a relationship where I could rationalize the drop of emotions feeling of emptiness when I was separated from my significant other.

Generally when I am away from Dragon I will not ever remove my collar. I cant bring myself to be that naked and without him. When my collar is off I feel like I am vulnerable and exposed in ways not even showing my nude body to a crowd of ravenous men would provoke in me.

Many people find it incredibly offensive to my (supposed) nature that I am a collared slave. Truly, I am Dragons pet Pony Girl. I have never been happier or felt more complete. He takes the very best care of me, and goes out of his way from time to time to do so. I have always felt naturally inclined to be a pony. Dragon allows me to be myself, more than anybody I have ever known. Even my own Family.

What I hate most of all, I have decided.. is being away from Dragon.